Posted in Uncategorized

How to be a Liberal Dick in 3 Easy Steps

The difference between the news and the tabloids is a thinner line in the good ol’ USA than I’d like. Sensationalism has become nearly synonymous with journalism, which is just a  depressing reality in the new age of #alternativefacts. I’d go so far to say more yellow journalism gets churned out daily than legitimate news articles, so when I hear people shout about fake news, it’s actually not that hard to see why.

And liberals, despite what we’d like to believe, can be awful. We can play hard at the sensationalist side of things, and more often than not we’re not even aware how utterly hypocritical we’re being about. Because of that lack of self-awareness, it’s pretty easy to become a dickish liberal. As a liberal myself of the moderate bitchy variety, I think it’s time we take a look at this process.

Step 1: Be a Feminist (But Only When it’s In Style)

Let’s take a look that this piece of trash masquerading as news, shall we?

Slate: A “news” organziation

Heather Schwedel (and her source Jezebel, which we won’t even step into because that’s a whole other article) is a smile analysis expert, apparently. I find it astonishing that a Slate editor looked at this barely-an-article thing, said, “Yeah, you go girl!” and up it went. Schwedel seems to have a lot of other articles that are pro-ladies, but Melania is of course exempt because it’s now fashionable to hate her. By the way, let’s not even get into the fact that it was a reverse gif so…talk about FAKE NEWS.

I’m a feminist, do you know what I hate being told all the time? “Smile honey!” It makes me want to punch people in the throat. Stop policing my damn smiles, I’ll smile when there’s something to smile about, so screw you.

Actually, remember when everybody was on board the no catcalling bandwagon? Here let me refresh your memory.

This video went viral in like 2014, that was all of two years ago, and apparently nobody learned a goddamn thing from it. I thought that it was about how telling women how to act and how to behave is more or less harassment, but no. Instead, we’re back to square one, and it’s totally fine to nitpick at the ladies to be perfect little smiley angels all damn day long.

Look, Melania is the First Lady of the United States, who was probably tired as hell from getting dragged around from this photo op to this speech thing to this church thing, leave her the hell alone. I don’t smile all the damn time, and she shouldn’t have to either. If us liberals are going to be all about fairness and equality, we need to be FAIR and EQUAL about it. I don’t see articles pointing out how Trump didn’t smile throughout the entire inauguration, so why is Melania getting dumped on? Because she’s a women, and they always get the bum end of the deal in the media.

And yet if you think women are the only ones who get the low blows, sorry to say, there are definitely lower ones.

Step 2: Attack the Kids (For Extra Points, Be an SNL Celebrity)

Kids don’t get to choose their parents, so they just have to deal with the fallout of dad or mom embarrassing them at the mall. At least, normal kids do, but Barron Trump has the unfortunate plight of being the child of Donald J. Trump. And so, that means some people think it’s fine to say things like this:

What did she even mean? If he’s a shooter and he’s home-schooled, what he’s going to shoot his parents? So a ten year old is going to assassinate the president? She obviously didn’t think this “joke” through. It should be noted that Katie quickly apologized like so:

But all the same, who the hell thinks it’s cool to call a ten year old kid a future terrorist? (Besides Texas and that whole clock business, I mean). Barron will probably grow up and become a rich white dude of some variety, and that’s about it. He might be a politician, he might be a TV personality of some kind, he might be a model like his mom, who the hell knows or even cares. He’s a kid, leave him alone, let him figure that out.

Anyways, I feel a little bad for Katie, since she’s getting flack for something that most of Twitter gets away with a lot.

The entire “article” is 90% Twitter embeds. Adam Boult be lazy much?

That’s right, an entire article, devoted to pointing out that a kid was tired looking at an event. That’s it. The kid was up for over 24 hours, but somehow that’s unforgivable? For children to be tired?!

Now, did the alt-right racists attack the Obama daughters? They sure as hell did, but that doesn’t make this nonsense equal out. Leave the damn kids alone, they’re not in charge of your country. Send your ire towards the easy target: Trump and his tiny hands (…approving the abortion gag from the Reagan era)

Step 3: Commit/Cheer On Violent Acts (Don’t Bother to Stop Them)

No one is without sin, and yet everyone feels like casting that first stone. Sometimes, right into shop windows.

Washington riots.png

People are saying that these “activists” (*coughanarchistscough*) have no affiliation with the “peace and flower loving liberals who marched without causing problems.” Alright, but do you think that news affiliates care about that? NO, no they don’t. They’re already talking about “radical leftists” and “terrorist activity” instead of, ya know, researching like journalists should (Google search is HARD you guys).

Marchers need to take action when they see looting and rioting, or even better, they need to take preventative actions. How do you prevent rioting and looting? Easy, before a group heads out for protests, tell them that there’s now a 10 year jail sentence for people who get caught destroying property. When no one believes you, because wow a decade for that seems a bit much, inform them that fellow marchers will call the police on you if you begin to loot or riot. Finally, inform them that if/when they’re caught looting and rioting, you’re not protecting them from the police. “Oh, you want to throw a brick into a Starbucks? Have fun getting baton beaten and pepper sprayed.”

There’s solidarity in the face of adversity, but then there’s being a by-stander to criminal activity. When you march, you be ready to stop that shit.

And then there’s also just going around punching people you disagree with, something that people out of high school should know better than to do.

Now, I’m not going to say this guy didn’t deserve a punch to the face (Captain America would probably be proud), but it’s not something to cheer about either. I’m not going to condone violent actions. I might be internally gleeful that an asshole got what was coming to him, but in the end it only hurts the cause against racism.

This punch will be used as proof at every alt-right/Neo Nazi meeting in the country that they’re right about the “savage” black race and blah blah blah [insert more asinine bullshit here to support stupid eugenics and white superiority that’s based on super false “science”].  So while people want to cheer on this vigilante, remember that violence is what the other side wants. They want people to get angry, to punch, to loot, to make a smear campaign. They want to see us fail, essentially, to be the freedom fighters and instead paint us as terrorists.

The alt-right/Neo Nazis might even look at this post and start frothing at the mouth, “See! Even the libtards and special snowflakes know they’re wrong!” But no, that’s not the point. I want to make it clear that I’m still a liberal, I’m still a “social justice warrior” (I prefer the term armchair activist, if we’re going for derogatory titles), and I agree with most liberal ideals. However, in order for liberalism to keep its footing, it needs to take a good hard look at its flaws and hypocrisy. We liberals need to always endeavor to do better, we should always be trying to improve, and to do that we need to see what’s wrong with us.

If you don’t want to be a liberal dick, it’s actually pretty easy. DON’T share tabloid headline nonsense about the First Lady, DON’T make fun of children to further your own political aims, and finally DON’T riot at peaceful gatherings or punch people. DO praise the organizers of the Womens March, DO talk about education funding of public schools (call your legislators, people!), and whether you’re liberal or conservative try to DO all things with the goal of achieving peace.



Posted in Japan News

Sister Marches in Tokyo and Kansai

The Sister Marches in Japan will be on January 20th in solidarity with the Women’s March in Washington D.C.

In Tokyo women, men, and children are all invited to Hibiya Park on January 20th (It is ALL inclusive). From 5:30 to 6:30 pm everybody who wants to attend must arrive and gather together. The march members will depart at 6:45 pm from Nishi Saiwai Gate. At Mikawadai Park, the march will end at approximately 8:00 pm depending on traffic conditions.

The statement from the event site:

We stand together in solidarity with our partners and children for the protection of our rights, our safety, our health, and our families – recognizing that our vibrant and diverse communities are the strength of our country.  The rhetoric of the past election cycle has insulted, demonized, and threatened many of us – women, immigrants of all statuses, those with diverse religious faiths particularly Muslim, people who identify as LGBTQIA, Native and Indigenous people, Black and Brown people, people with disabilities, the economically impoverished and survivors of sexual assault. We are confronted with the question of how to move forward in the face of national and international concern and fear. In the spirit of democracy and honoring the champions of human rights, dignity, and justice who have come before us, we join in diversity to show our presence in numbers is too great to ignore.  We call on all defenders of human rights to join us.

You can also learn more at the Women’s March-Tokyo Facebook Event.

In Kansai there will be a night vigil with people gathering at 7:00 pm and the march starting at 7:30 pm.

Statement from the event page:

Please share!

As US citizens and members of the international community in the Kansai area of Japan, we are concerned with the hateful and irresponsible behavior and policies of the incoming president of the United States and his administration.

We gather and march to stand vigil during the presidential inauguration, occuring at Eastern Standard Time, to express solidarity with Women’s March, and with other movements in fighting injustice and protecting the environment.

We have gone through the proper channels and got permits for this, so please meet at Nakanoshima Ekimae Hiroba (中之島駅) at 7PM and prepare to begin walking from there and past the US consulate at 7:35PM sharp. We will then reconvene at the park and continue the vigil from there.

Inauguration opening remarks is scheduled for 1:30AM JST. Bring signs, candles, heat packs, and dress warm!

If you know of a Sister March in Japan, please put it in the comments below.

UPDATE: There is advice given to participants from Washington D.C. It is encouraged that you share and spread this advice, so feel free to copy and paste to your social media of choice.

If you’re going to DC, Boston, Los Angeles, SF, etc. to take part in a peaceful gathering, here are some good tips.

*Keep your cool.
*Do not offer personal information to unsolicited requests.
*Stay to the edges of the crowd.
*Have a meet-up-if-you-get-separated plan. Do not count on your cellphones for this purpose.
*Write important information on your forearm in Sharpie. (Emergency contact, drug allergies, etc.)It will wash off eventually. In fact, bring a Sharpie with you to share with others for this purpose.
*Stay hydrated and never pass up an opportunity to use a toilet.
*Wear the right shoes and don’t carry anything you can’t lose.
*LISTEN to the energy and calmly leave the vicinity if you have any doubts about anything. (These are intended to be peaceful gatherings but there have been intimations that infiltrators will try to incite violence and make it look like the protesters caused it. Use your own judgment on this one.)