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Challenging Myself Artistically in Quarantine

I’m not an artist, but I dabble in sketching and such. When I was in both high school and university, I got high praise for anything I did in black and white. I still prefer the monochrome medium to this day.

However, in the past year or so I’ve been trying to get into colors…which for some reason messes me up so completely in shading it’s not even funny.

Not bad, not great but not the worst
Ok, we shade and layer, like the tutorials said!
Well…it’s something?

I don’t know, it’s something about taking it the next step up, bringing shadows into hue, I just can’t quite “get it.”

When I was in high school I tried, but even my art teacher at the time would put up the Halloween art on display (black hollowed out trees in front of a haunted house with a cresent moon) but then would oh-so politely ask me to “treasure” the pastel creation I worked on (it was supposed to be a man and woman dancing, but came out like demented Picasso).

In university, my art teachers drove me to keep torturing myself with new ways of making color enter my work. It was hilarious, because both of them would be really excited to see my speed sketches, but then blanch at my collages, paintings, and etc. I think the only “successful” thing I did was a model in theater design, and that’s because “Waiting for Godot” could have literally any backdrop at all.

I feel cursed, because it’s like somehow bringing colors into it reverses me. I devolve, ending up with drawings that resemble middle school me rather than the me with years of experience. It’s just so FRUSTRATING.

What even are these lines?! Proportions?!

I miss having art classes, but I figured YouTube tutorials would get me there. Problem with that logic is most people I’m watching have hundreds of copic marker sets, as in hundreds of dollars spent on having this big ol’ collection of drawing instruments. I wish I could talk myself into it, but I can’t afford something like that right now.

I can finally draw hands, though, so progress had been made!

I’m gonna keep trying to get this right, or at least passably good. It might take longer than even quarantine is around, but why not? I enjoy it and it’s not like me to just give up on a project.

I should also quit with anime faces. I’m oddly better at “real” than cartoon figures.
At least nature doesn’t completely abandon me.

Maybe someday soon I’ll be able to get something really good, until then, it’s practice, practice, practice!

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